While Diamondbacks nation(I’m kidding, I’m kidding, there’s no such thing) laments tonight’s ninth inning collapse, Diamondhacks was tickled that Manager Bob Melvin apparently heeded our recent advice to alter his prissy rhubarb demeanor to deliver a fairly manly, ill-conceived, non substantive ninth inning dressing down of the umpiring crew.

Instead of characteristically forcing his hands down near his waist like a nun while arguing, this time Bob, veins bulging in his neck, forcefully wagged several fingers into the ump’s mug. The best part was that Bob was on the wrong side of the substantive argument ( Ibanez hit a legit home run initially ruled a double), but he chose to pitch a significant fit anyway, over a procedural point, that the ump closest to the play and most qualified to call it was overruled.

Point for Bob.

While peripheral to the game itself, this brand of picky, Weaveresque parlimentarianism baloney is actually a critical, tone setting management technique we seldom see Bob utilize with any real gusto. Not because you win the argument, but because it shows your team what lengths you’ll personally go to help the team win, even if it means making a bit of a jerk of yourself. Bob is, simply put, a reasonable professional – and that’s always been his problem. Perhaps this snit would be a fitting way for him to exit, with his baseball dignity in tact, fighting like a goofball, like a major league manager.

It’s awkward listening to all the local broadcasters recap this heartbreaking loss, railing about the team’s lack of fire, while trying very hard not to point the finger directly at Bob. Mark Grace said it’s time for the guys in the clubhouse to get angry because "anger can be a good thing in baseball", without mentioning Bob. The tone setter. The, uh, manager. I’m sure Mark remembers. He gave the same speech last year. Twice.

Brennaman, paraphrasing Tony LaRussa, regurgitated the pap that a skipper’s job is to put players in position to succeed and it’s the players’ job to go out and perform. Problem is, Thom, that Bob, unable to manage a pitching staff to save his life or even write up an optimal batting order, has done a miserable job providing many players their best opportunity to shine; unless your name is Luis Gonzalez and you measure success in terms of padding your RBI totals toward some futile Hall of Fame quest, at the team’s expense. Or you’re Chad Tracy and have been prematurely dubbed the next George Brett. Not only didnt Thom criticise Bob’s leadership, he lambasted those who criticise Melvin on talk radio, before politely acknowledging that they, too, are entitled to their opinion.

Heh.

GM Josh Byrnes visited the booth to hoist up the strawman that the Dbacks problems were not "all Bob’s fault" (duh) and quickly clarified that he felt Bob was a "tremendous" manager.  It doesnt get much more disingenuous than that.

These guys obviously like Melvin alot. A "tremendous" lot, as it were. Even Diamondhacks felt a twinge of Christain charity listening to Bob’s emotional but terse postgame conference. This was half an hour or so after he got tossed and his face was still flush, his voice quavering. He looked like he wanted to murder someone, or cry – it was hard to tell. This must be tough on him and his family. It’s just about over now and he knows it. He’s worked very hard and it’s just not going to work out. Maybe down the road he’ll come back as an MLB bench coach, or coach in a less competitive arena where his approachable, nice guy leadership style wont be so easily exploited.

Every team takes on the character of its manager. And this is a team full of nice guys who, with the exception of Eric Byrnes and a few others, dont play like their livelihood depends on it. They put on serious game faces and furrow their brows, and act appropriately troubled after losses, and then go out and play like that’s all they need to do to be supported by their manager. They look like it’s more important to them that they never smile or watch a home run from the batter’s box than it is to actually draw a walk, pitch inside, or make a productive out. They’re responding to their leadership. Just like last year.  And Seattle the year before that.

They say it’s not fair that nice guys finish last, but it really is, in the end. What’s unfair is that a nice guy like Torre wins with a $200M payroll while better managers struggle in anonymity with far less.

Truthfully, Bob Melvin is not one of those guys.   

Bob Melvin and Shawn Green, two politically correct peas in the same pod, were both tossed last night, after uncharacteristically beefing over the same called strike.  They were both, of course, correct, but what caught Diamondhacks eye was the body language and ensuing "dance" between Bob Melvin and HP umpire Mike Everitt.

Once Green was ejected, Melvin made the obligatory mad rush towards Everitt, but when he arrived at the arbiter, Melvin positioned his arms down by his sides and back slightly behind his body. We assume Bob intended to avoid a suspension for bumping Everitt, even accidentally, but the visible result of his self restraint was that it made Melvin appear to be non threatening, foolish even, on the end of an imaginary tether. So much so that Everitt, who had made an abysmal call, acted on the non verbal cue to get right in Bob’s chops to deliver a furious counter attack, tongue lashing the overwhelmed manager back to the clubhouse, like an adolescent wolf humiliated by his pack’s alpha male.

By all public accounts, Bob Melvin is a good human being. He’s honest, smart, organized, hard working. Diamondhacks has never suggested otherwise. He speaks, and we are quite sure, interviews, exceedingly well. He’s built an enviable network of professional relationships by communicating with ownership and players. Some reporters are fond of him and even appear vested in his success.

But Melvin is not a particularly effective field leader of men. He is an introspective, self-conscious Cal/Berkeley fellow, concerned about not coming on too strong in the middle of a rhubarb in which he was undeniably right. A fourth year MLB manager in the middle of a job jeopardizing tailspin, decides to stir things up and ends up browbeaten by some second rate ump. Nobody held Melvin back because nobody had to. Bob held himself back.

Being a good man, a paragon of self control, doesnt make a successful major league manager. It really helps to be a man’s man. Confident, decisive, intimidating. Someone you’ll work extra hard for to stay in their good graces, not someone who’ll gush to the press how you remind him of George Brett when you hit .280. An exacting boss obsessively focusing personnel on the collective goal rather than some approachable corporate facilitator cheerfully scheduling your next one on one.

Phoenix– Through April and May, the Dbacks played an unrecognizable brand of ball to long suffering observers of previous Bob Melvin squads. Patient hitting and aggressive baserunning complemented the NL’s best defense, as Bob likened Chad Tracy to George Brett.   

While we never expected such superlatives to last, neither were we terribly fazed when the Phillies swept, or even after the Mets piled on. Diamondhacks pointed towards the current, less challenging portion of the schedule as a more accurate yardstick by which to measure this team’s future.

Since the Mets debacle, the Dbacks have been outscored 62-35 by San Fran, Texas, Pittsburg and Tampa Bay, losing eight of ten. They even had a meeting about it, after which their ace balked in a run, losing again to Tampa Bay. 

Well, this is more like it. Playing down to the competition. An inability to fashion runs against a fortuitous slew of mediocre pitchers. Running the bases with all the common sense of the Chicago Cubs. The inexplicable, inefficient batting orders. The irrelevant post game excuses. This is what Diamondhacks has come to expect from a BoMel-led team.

For a couple months, we felt disoriented, not knowing quite how to react to a focused ballclub clicking on all cylinders.

It’s finally starting to resemble Bob Melvin baseball again. Phew!

Oh, and Bob, George is the fellow on the left, with the plaque.   In 1979, he had twenty triples. He stole 201 bases in his career. Chad Tracy, in his prime, will have more strikeouts by the end of this week than Brett had in any one of his twenty complete seasons, including when he was an injured old man.

Stunning resemblance.