Grate Stuff

Six or seven years ago, an easygoing friend of mine – a Dbacks fan – spewed an uncharacteristically harsh appraisal of Todd Walsh that I didnt understand at the time.  To me, Walsh was pretty innocuous and intermittently amusing. I liked him because he was different from the cookie cutter mold of high strung, self important sideline reporters.

But my good natured friend, John, just detested Todd back then – he called Walsh a ‘complete phony’. John’s animus was so palpable he’d reflexively mute Walsh or simply leave the room.

A lot has happened in seven years.  9/11. Iraq. Questions about global warming. After all this time, though, I have, really, only one question.

Is anyone else as tired of Todd Walsh as I am?

I mean, how many of these tongue in cheek, painfully coy Walsh cameos must one fan base endure? The ones where the broadcasters play along with the promise of an inside joke that is sloppily, if ever, revealed. Or worse, the lame, drawn out banter lacking a punchline, climax or any remotely discernable purpose within the broadcast.

Yesterday, Walsh’s schtick consisted of thumbing through a bunch of Denver attraction brochures, while mocking the area’s entertainment options with Mark Grace. Potentially funny, I suppose, but it was unbearable listening to how Walsh spends his free time in Colorado. Is Todd the world’s laziest sports ‘journalist’ ever?  Couldn’t he show us around the stadium, or, God forbid, actually interview one or two of the tens of thousands of available people more interesting than himself?   

What’s even more annoying is the TV booth’s predictable cheerleading of Todd’s increasingly inane contributions. What do Sutton and Grace always say after one of Todd’s "reports"? Same exact thing Brennaman used to say.

"Aww. That’s great stuff, Todd. Great stuff!"

Great stuff? Sorry. No.

What’s so great about an astonishingly enabled gadfly more enamored with his smirky, college boy persona than with the sights and sounds he’s supposed to be chronicling?  Whose primary joke – that he really doesnt have much to say – has long since worn thin?  Walsh’s halting, self-deprecating, Jimmy Stewartesque delivery masks the self indulgent content of much of his work and hardly justifies such third rate "reporting".

(photo courtesy of phoenoxcoyotes.com)