April Fools

April Fools, people. It’s all a joke. This new platform thing, I mean. Platform, schmatform. Dont worry. We have all your links and posts and all your old widgets and photo albums right here. We’ve had em all along. This was all a ruse. We had to sufficiently tick off peripheral bloggers to give up completely, so we can maintain service level agreements with you hard core fans: our bread and butter. We take that relationship very seriously. 

Gosh, did you really think we’d roll out an entirely new platform on the eve of Opening Day? You guys are gull-i-ble. That’s really almost insulting, that you’d even think that. And those 45 minute holds in Customer Service with no resolution?  Oh, Jeff, we have the whole thing on tape. Dave, you sounded like you were having a heart attack. You, sirs, have been Punked. 

So, you guys are real baseball bloggers. This is how it works.  At 0600 this morning, all your old sidebar functionality returns; links, widgets, photos, everything.  Plus we’ve enhanced the Design function, so you can make the blog look however you want. There are a dozen templates times 30 teams (360 looks!) and 398 hex color codes making for limitless visual combinations. Just two rules here. One, dont alter a team trademark. And two, Have Fun and Go For It! 

Also this morning, at least one fan blog will be prominently featured on each of the 30 team sites, 24/7. Shoot from the hip, say what’s on your mind. We’re looking for fresh, independent perspectives that attract return readers to our team pages and generate discussion. After all, our ads are plastered all over your site – you’re doing us the favor here. 

Write something especially probing or funny and we’ll even feature it on mlb’s homepage. Again, you’re providing us no small gift creating fresh, entertaining content.  

Well, that’s about it. We just couldnt keep a straight face any longer, and hope you’re not too mad. Oh, almost forgot. There’s hot pizza in the lounge for everyone.  On us.  



I’m trying to stay patient, but it’s getting harder and harder. Another thing that appears to be a glitch is the length of time it takes for new postings to appear on the pages. I’ve shut off the comment approval thing. I can think of only one comment I edited out in my entire time blogging here and that was because the guy cussed about twelve times in a sixteen word (all CAPITALIZED) posting. Why do you have an Angels insignia on your page? Are you hedging your bets with all the teams on the West Coast of the USA like Michael does in the Mid-Atlantic? Gotta go. There’s a bidding war for Sidd Finch going on—-http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2003/magazine/09/26/plimpton.finch/


Tell me about it. I have tried to add some links and though they show up on the “Dashboard” they don’t show up on the site. AND it won’t let me edit my “profile”. Guys, you think we have it bad, look at what happened to poor Alyssa’s site. She must’ve gotten the boot.

Matt, I wish your post was true. I really do.

Btw, I posted (by way of comment) a beautifully written excerpt for Mark’s consideration:

I think he’s a Yankees fan though. Bummer.


“Why do you have an Angels insignia on your page?”
Is that the Angels? I just found a red “A” with a sactimonious little halo around it, and figured it was the Dbacks.

Cute excerpt. Good luck in the show. Myself? I’m going with “Watching MLB.tv cured my bone cancer”, or “MLB: Crazy, Sexy, Cool”.

“Watching MLB.tv cured my bone cancer”

If only you could see the look on my face or hear the cackle from my throat after reading that! We’re gonna do it, guys. “This is how it works!”

I’m not sure I can support the current “After the unspeakable events that unfolded last September, the Mets are back and ready to get some revenge on the Phils” because I remember EVERYBODY speaking about those events. In fact, I thought it was kind of cool…or “crazy, sexy, cool.”


It says I “do not have permision to comment on this blog” but (continued in next comment)

(cont) if I do it in short bursts it seems to work (continued in next comment)

(cont) so that is actually quite user friendly!


We aim to (cont.)



For some reason when I try to click onto the link to your blog from mine, it says, “Forbidden”. Yours is the only one. Any idea why?

Probably forbidden because of all the scantily clad women featured here on this blog.

It’s 5 a.m. and I am awake. Why? To check out hot chicks on Diamondhacks.



Jeff is correct. MLBAM has embedded a fluid MIP (Maturity Index Parameter) within each site’s code, and when I uploaded the image of Alicia Silverstone in the tank top, it kicked you out on the exception report. You and Zack Hample. It’s just a “one-off” coding issue (ie probably changing your values from 3 to 7 or so); something to put on Mark’s punch list, though.

Thanks for the feedback!

The filter is editing out so many innocuous words that I feel like Eddie Murphy in ‘Raw’. They’re making it look like I show up, curse, and leave. It’s utter *******, in addition to being ****** and ******; plus it’s ***** and ******. Not to mention ****** and *********************************************************************************************************************!!!!!

I know, Paul. I mentioned Aramis Ramirez’s cockfighting ring and wanted to use the word c**k but it kept bleeping it out. How is it that the roosters are always disenfranchised in this medium?


I’m just glad we can say “disenfranchised”

Matt, I sure hope the MLBAM executive decisions haven’t discouraged from writing. Like the junkie that I am, I need my Diamonhacks fix.


Jeff- Without wishing to promote a rival blog, Diamondhacks is currently at this site


Dude, what’s with the Angels logo instead of the Dbacks? I must be missing something.


So, Matt, shall I change my link to the blogspot site? Or will you be using this one still?


People are welcome to comment either place, but, yes, for the time being, I’m blogging baseball @


I dont particularly enjoy operating two sites, and sorry for the back n forth, but MLBlogs isnt supporting even the basics of what I’m trying to do right now.


Please see comment#3 on this thread re logos. It’s a running joke grounded in the Dbacks controversial rebranding and confusion over “Sedona Red”.
Thx for visiting. I’ve enjoyed some of your posts, btw

It’s nice that my postings aren’t showing up on my site even an hour after I published them. What are they up to now?

Paul, let me save you a trip to the “help” desk:

1. My posts publish immediately, so I dont see an “issue”, per se.
2. Think positive!! That’s how I just ran the STL marathon while you were overreacting. Makes a world of difference
3. Did I mention I’m AWESOME?
4. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost forgot. Use tags. Incredibly important.


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