A glance at the NL standings verifies the counterintuitive truth that, somehow, even after dropping 4 straight to the Mets, the free-falling Diamondbacks find themselves in second place. Another gander confirms that the last place Mets sport a better W-L than the West leading Padres. Obvious stuff.

But how bad is the West, really? The unbalanced schedule suggests that the West's results are padded by playing each other more than the superior competition from the NL East and Central. For example, the Padres are currently at .500 overall, but remove their 24-20 record vs the West and the Pads drop to 39-43(.476), still good enough for first. Here's what the division looks like after subtracting the West's intradivisional games:

San Diego  39-43 .476

San Fran    32-47 .405

LA            31-47 .397

Col           32-50 .390

Ariz          31-49 .388

Forget about the Mets for a second. A more intriguing question might be: How would the Brewers, Reds or even the Pirates fare in 78 games per annum against these jokers?

Berating the Dbacks each night the visitor scores in the teens prior to the 5th innning hot dog races is a little like shooting ducks in a barrel but watching the Mets come to town really crystalizes what's wrong with the Diamondhacks, way beyond the hackneyed harping about the bullpen or Russ Ortiz' latest conflagration.

What the Diamondbacks position players sadly lack and the Mets positively ooze is an aggressive athleticism; physical speed turbocharged with a full throttle attiude. The Mets aren't better coached in that they make more than their share of miscues - they run into lots of outs and leadoff man Reyes cant walk to save his life. But I love the brazen way they keep coming at you, at bat, on the bases and in the field. When they lay down an ostensible sacrifice bunt, they put it two feet from the line and try to beat it out anyway. When they're picked off, they dont ossify in shame resigned to the inevitable, but sprint all out creating the kind of lengthy,opportunistic rundowns reminiscent of Little League.  And their outfielders routinely dive for balls instead of playing potential outs into doubles by passively 'plugging gaps'.

The Mets remind Phoenicians that baseball is a game, not a middle-aged, risk averse bond market. Willie Randolph was a very smart player and he's wise enough to know that his methodical, even cautious, M.O. as a player simply doesnt translate well to this particular group of young, athletic and hungry Metropolitans.

Anyone in Queens willing to swap your erratic,uncontrollable "teens" for Russ Ortiz' version of teen angst?

I didn't think so.