Hurry! Only 33,000 Season Tickets Still Available

Sporting a new pitching staff attitude AND a new manager first base coach, it's already clear that this season is shaping up to be the DiamondHacks' finest  ninth!! Ignore your better judgement and pPurchase a package(below) today!

CLICK HERE FOR AVAILABLE SEAT LOCATIONS

Package
Level
Wait Teal Next Year
Royal Flush
Golden Fleece
Seats &
Location
 
Upper deck- featuring seats
100/200 level - featuring EXCLUSIVE entryways, stairwells...even railings!
Suites - featuring sofa recliners courtesy of Robb & Stucky
Package
Price
$1230-$4000
$4200-$18,250
Our people will call your people
Parking
$5 to $10 in area lots
One complimentary parking space in adjacent garage
May parallel park Hummer in visitors' bullpen
Service
BYO or wait in lengthy food lines
Perky attendant brings order right to your seat.
Perkier attendant brings wrong order to your seat.

Security

Wanded and searched immediately upon entry.

Waved through security with a friendly smile.

Help staff identify "suspicious" fans for intrusive Level II search.
Player
Interaction
Player photos available in game program
Chris Snyder dutifully signs postgame autograph.
Miguel Batista prunes your oleanders, no questions asked.

Overheard

"CRACK!!
...it's outta here!"

"5th inning? I'm outta here...gotta client at the crack of dawn."

"You're outta rumaki and Pinot Noir!?!?
Let's get crackin', Tamika!"
 

Sit with...

Rich, your friend from work

a bunch of rich S.O.B.s

your host, Richard Dozer

Note: As a valued season ticketholder, you will be billed in full several months before games inevitably occur.

Leave a comment