Top 10 Reasons Why Dbacks Want Randy Back
10. Unveiling 'RANDY Farewell Tour' in April to boost year round attendance. 
9. Solidifies rotation with high IP and low WHIP...whatever that means.
8. Postgame infusion of charming Noel Coward-like banter.
7. Turns out Brandon Webb was only a Medium Unit
6. "We're in this for the short haul" - Josh Byrnes
5. Two words: Lady fans
4. Randy looks good in purple
4. Randy looks RAN -TASTIC in red, sand and black!
3. Per Ken Kendrick, 9 foot tall clubhouse showerhead installed by Colangelo now a good investment
2. Stole Steinbrenner's toupee during exit interview.
...and the #1 reason the Diamondbacks opted to sign Randy Johnson, is....
because WALTER Johnson wasn't available!!!
OMG.
He's a mullethead. Please don't let The Big Eunuch come to SF with a mullet, it's against the law here.
With all his money, he can't afford a face transplant? What happened to his chin? He doesn't *have* one!
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lol. Half of SOMA has a mullet, panhandlers mostly.
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