People Will Come
This story might make your skin crawl. No gore and it shouldnt ruin your lunch, but it's a little creepy. And true. Just over a year ago, I posted a sentimental tribute to my son, about the time he filled in as an AFL batboy. It touched on baseball and life's illusions, and I was pleased to get some positive feedback on it. Like all posts, though, it eventually got archived and my thoughts turned to a hundred other ostensibly related topics. Baseball...Diamondbacks...Alyssa Milano......How to make my blog more viable...Alyssa Milano.
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For those of us not in on the big sell, it hasnt been easy getting featured on mlblogs. But that's old news. The point is, you come up with gimmicks to make your page stand out; to make it more fun or useful than that of the geek next door. For example, I added sardonic images to my posts, and foreign language translations on the sidebar - including one in beautiful Arabic hieroglyphics, as a joke. Funny thing was, I actually got some hits from the Kingdom. Not a lot, but they'd trickle in from different IP addresses. Got a similar hit yesterday from the UAE.
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Like most bloggers, I got me one of them site meters. They're fascinating tools, providing all sorts of free info about your readers except who they really are. I wondered if my Saudi readers were expats with Arizona connections, reaching out for Diamondbacks from ARAMCO barracks halfway around the globe. Or maybe a privileged prince with a secret American baseball bug? I really had no idea.
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Most baffling was that the Middle Easterners, almost without exception, gravitated to a single post I had written some time ago - the one about the AFL game. Gee, it really was a good story, I told myself. But why weren't the Saudis reading any of my other stuff? This struck me as a tad odd. Perhaps cryptic Saudi significance was innocently embedded in the initials "AFL"? Ak-Faisal Ladin, anyone? No? The AFL baseball team was called the "Desert Dogs" - could that be a connection? Or did Julio Franco, who I briefly mention twice in the story, have a burgeoning fan club in Riyadh? I was at a loss.
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Turns out, it was none of that. Further snooping on SiteMeter revealed that this distant seduction was fueled, not by anything I had written, but by a stock photo inserted near the bottom of the AFL post - a picture of a prepubescent boy my son's age, from the waist up, taking a shower. It turns out the two most popular Google searches to find Diamondhacks, from Saudi Arabia anyway, are: 
- Naked boy
- boy in shower
Lovely. I dont wanna come down too hard on any society righteous enough to parade around in long, white robes with funny hats, nor one sufficiently sage to forbid women to drive. Nor do I (heaven forbid!) want to come across like a Crusader, but with due respect to our dear friends squatting on the world's largest oil reserves, their virtue police really ought to look into this *** pedophilia thing and consider chopping off some nuts.
(photos ourtesy of ottawalynxblog.com and raidernet.com)
No need to invoke sweet Alyssa... on one independent web site traffic tracker Diamondhacks was just a couple of percentage points behind Milano--despite an obvious disproportion of promotion.
In other words, not only is Milano not attracting hordes of new readers to MLBlogs, she needs all the promotion just to have a readership at all. Kinda restores your faith in the readers, doesn't it?
Michael Norton - Some Clubhouse
http://mlblog.someclubhouse.com
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Cool! That chick'll be eatin' my dust after the Chad & Madagascar roll outs! And I take back everything I said about my [cough] critical and highly valued Saudi customers ;-).
So, what indy tracker was it, striketwo?
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No, Quantcast, a real tracker, one that is used by advertisers to determine where to spend their advertising dollars:
http://www.quantcast.com/mlblogs.com
Note after your long absence you've slipped off the radar (so has Milano, since she, too, has not been posting). My observation was at the end of last season, which was a fairer reflection.
Michael Norton - Some Clubhouse
http://mlblog.someclubhouse.com
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Hi Matt!
Thanks for the welcome to MLBlogs. I have taken some time to read some of your posts and I gotta say I really like your style. It reminds me of ours in that it's informed yet playfully sarcastic/sardonic. I think this post in particular is very helpful to new bloggers because we are wondering how we can make a name for ourselves and stand out from the rest. I will keep checking in. Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Jeff (for Jeff & Allen)
http://redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com/
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Thanks Jeff,
Back at ya on style points. Sarcasm, wit, indeed good writing in general, doesnt get rewarded much on mlblogs. You might get a clever post picked up by deadspin or a legit baseball community now and then, but (with a few notable exceptions) mlb only promotes player and celebrity blogs. Many of the best writers, incl the small sample below, have left to write in greener pastures:
http://buccoblog.mlblogs.com/
http://anderson.mlblogs.com/
http://diamondsareforhumor.mlblogs.com/
http://jpschmack.mlblogs.com/jpschmack/
http://barmes.mlblogs.com/
http://byrnesblog.mlblogs.com/down_the_left_field_linec/2007/09/3_great_nights_.html
http://coorseffect.mlblogs.com/
http://sheabaseball1964.mlblogs.com/
http://mavericktango.mlblogs.com/
http://stealinghome.mlblogs.com/
Unless you can convince Mark Newman (the guy who runs mlblogs) that you're Johan Santana, Scarlett Johansson or can further his business goal of regularly tying baseball to "everything good in the world", then you're pretty much on your own. Well, you and Allen, but you get the drift.
I understand you're a Chinese speaking scholar, so please overlook the offensively lowbrow Chronicles of Ping, linked here for your convenience:
http://azdiamondhacks.mlblogs.com/diamondhacks/ping/index.html
btw, I also have a beagle :-)
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Well, I'm already a repeat customer. Thanks for the additional links, I will definitely check them out. I told Al about your writing skillz and I like this new post of yours so much I'm adding a link to you on the our site. So far we have a dedicated fan base of family and friends who are extremely jaded towards the NY/BOS/LA lovefest that is jammed down our MLB throats. I'm sure they'll enjoy reading why we should definitely not plan on going to any Cactus League games.
I am a Chinese scholar of sorts, lived in China for many years, working in Asian antiquities now, but I love the interview with Ping, especially the subject matter (wink, wink). Which reminds me, I'm in love with Alyssa Milano too.
Al is much more interesting as he works for the US State Department and I never know where in the world he is. Seriously. He's so secretive about it.
Since you're probably the only Dback fan I know (cyberly) I have to tell you that last year I purchased the MLBTV Package (mosaic style) and finding myself up late at night I started watching a lot of west coast games. I gotta tell you, Mark Grace is one of the most entertaining color guys on TV. I started following the Dbacks just to listen to him...anyway, it was neat to watch them throughout the season and get to the NLCS. Just thought I'd share that.
Cheers,
Jeff
PS, Beagles are by far my most favorite breed. Mine is a diva of sorts, but wonderful nonetheless.
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