Even with the spectre of aging but eminently watchable Barry Bonds on Tuesday’s horizon in Baghdad by the Bay, few dog and pony shows can be relied upon to underwhelm the sporting public quite like MLB’s midsummer megacommercial, piggybacking as it does, on the numbing, year round overexposure of stars, courtesy of Baseball’s wildly successful short term exploitation of broadcast and related technologies. All Star voting opens in early April, for goodness sake. Fans witness the great ones every day, several times per day if one’s so inclined, thanks to the plethora of Pay TV options, ESPN and other highlight shows, online portals like fantasy baseball, etc, etc.   

Seeing some of the best players gathered on one stage just isnt news anymore – Barry was in Yankee Stadium a couple of weeks ago. Ho hum. Interleague play has further robbed the ASG of exclusivity and devalued what used to be a singularly anticipated seasonal event, The Midsummer Classic. A nine inning All Star Game no longer cuts it, due to the powers who have gleefully carved it up and pushed it into the background, in favor of a diluted, predictable "Weekend" of made-for-TV carnival promos and unsatisfying teasers brought to you by Chris Berman and innumerable sponsors. 

What was once a genuine, unique sports event that joined a nation for one electric night has become such an afterthought, even amongst baseball fans, that the actual contest is now intentionally interrupted by an award presentation contrived to sustain viewership during those "low revenue" middle innings that we’ve since come to learn have apparently plagued this wretched sport, yearning to breathe free, since the 1840s.

A generation ago, ASG extracirricular activity was pretty much limited to the celebrity rendition of the national anthem  – and player introductions just prior to first pitch. As a fan, you never wanted to miss those – because that was all there was. Way back when I was an American League fan, I was awed by the bigger than life figures of Dave Winfield and Dave Parker emerging from the NL dugout and striding onto the foul line, Winfield in Padre brown and gold, Parker in a jaunty striped Pittsburgh cap and huge earring. They were enormous, colorful, all around athletes who could do it all and, in my eyes, might as well have hailed from Mars – stemming from their lack of East coast TV exposure.  That was thirty years ago, but the real time excitement of those introductions – fueled by my authentic sense of discovery - feels like yesterday.

For the players, it was also a rare opportunity – certainly compared to today – to be recognized on national television – to be on that foul line and hear your name called must’ve been an honor for most and a thrill for some, judging by the near 100% participation at the old games. Now, it’s just another in an endless litany of year round photo ops. Many would rather pose and primp seven days a week during the season for Sportscenter time and spend the ASG break with their families or in Vegas – and who can blame them?  Like these overexposed corporate icons want, let alone need, this All Star hullabaloo?

Beyond the carnivalization and overexposure, what divorced MLB’s All Star Weekend from the game it claims to venerate occured in 2002. Commissioner Selig, without precedent, stopped an extra inning ASG due – he said – to dwindling pitching availability – and declared the game a tie by executive edict. Unlike politics or Coke vs Pepsi, it’s never really divided this nation as to which team wins the ASG, but Americans have always understood that somebody wins. We pay the money. You play the game. We get to see who wins. That’s been our little, secret handshake deal for 140 years.

Even more fundamental to the integrity and interests of The Game is that its outcome not be unilaterally determined by some lawyer who figures that playing a game out to its natural conclusion is somehow a mockery of the sport. The real mockery was the sublimation of natural outcomes – the game itself – to owner’s interests (ie not utilizing a valuable ‘asset’ in a game that had already generated its revenue to the asset holder), further distancing the corporate values of Major League Baseball from the intrinsic values of baseball, or indeed, from any true sport.

(photos courtesy of fsu.edu & insidesocal.com)

Despite the fact MLB rolls out fan balloting in early April, we, as reasonable people, pay no attention to All Star considerations until July. Call us odd. Let’s take a look at Tony Larussa’s NL roster, which surprisingly includes just one at-risk mammal.

We think LaRussa (and the voting players) deserve three big, happy ARFs for a decent job overall, tempered somewhat by these four sad YELPs: 

Freddy Sanchez 2B : Either Snell or Gorzelanny would represent Pittsburgh better – and there’s a handful of more deserving second basemen (led by Uggla & KJohnson).

Brian Fuentes SP: deserved it last year, terrible selection in light of his recent flareups. Does this team really need six closers? The AL has four. Attention: Commission on Default Selections – Matt Holliday is in the building!

Cole Hamels SP: nine wins & 100+ whiffs fueled early AS buzz, but how is a 3.80 ERA more impressive than Chris R Young (2.14)?  Brandon Webb (3.05) ? Snell (2.90) or Gorzelanny (3.05)?

Derrek Lee 1B: A fine player, but six homers at the break for a Cub first baseman doesnt exactly scream All Star. Larussa should’ve gone with three first basemen (Fielder,Pujols and Dmitri), not four, and filled in at other positions.

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Worst snubs

Chris R Young – 8 and 3 with a 188 ERA+ ??  Geez, Tony, you must really, really like Derrek Lee.

Brandon Webb – 8 and 5, 149 ERA+. For perspective, the ERA+ for Hamels and Fuentes are 114 and 110, respectively . Different league.

Tom Gorzelanny – 8 and 4 for a weak team…140 ERA+

Ian Snell – only 6 and 5, but a 148 ERA+ and on pace for 215 IP

Hanley Ramirez – SS on pace for 20HR, 125 Runs, 50 SB – and 30 errors. 

Dan Uggla – second baseman on pace for 33HR, 100 RBI, 125 Runs

**********************************************************************************

OFF…………..ON: 

Sanchez………Uggla

Fuentes……….Chris R Young

Hamels ……… Ian Snell or Tom Gorzelanny

Lee ………….Hanley Ramirez

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Here’s some interesting in/out positional choices: 

JJ Hardy SS: no problem with Hardy on the roster, but dont quite understand how he gets on – and Hanley Ramirez doesnt.

Orlando Hudson 2B: similar to Hardy, no problem with him on the roster, but dont understand how you elevate him above Dan Uggla, or for that matter, Kelly Johnson.

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Inspired Picks:

When I first spotted Aaron Rowand‘s name on the roster, I went "Ugh", but it’s actually an excellent pick. I was surprised to learn he’s hitting every bit as well as Eric Byrnes – and Aaron’s a better glove. It’s close, but Rowand deserves it.

Larussa also resisted the temptation to make Oswalt the Astro’s default rep, which would’ve been very easy to do. Roy is just as deserving as Carlos Lee, relative to their respective league average positional competition, but Lee is more deserving relative to the best of his positional competition. In other words, Snell, Webb and Gorzelanny are more deserving than Eric Byrnes, Adam Dunn and Hunter Pence, so Carlos Lee (OF) was a better pick to represent the National League.

– Sorry, I ran out of dog jokes. 

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(photo courtesy of buzzle.com)

Only the minimum charity rule of one All Star rep per club will ensure Diamondback representation at this year’s glorified, three day MLB photo op. As hard as it is to imagine that a team 10 games above .500 at midseason has zero players worthy of All Star recognition, no Arizonans have a particularly strong case for inclusion.

Tumbler extraordinaire Eric Byrnes is certainly close. Theoretically, he could rate out as high as the NL’s fourth best OF, behind Holliday, Bonds and Griffey, but with Soriano and Beltran poised to grab two of the starting spots via sloppy fan balloting, Eric slides to the #6 outfield position. And that’s best case. Luis Gonzalez (133 OPS+) who has carried LA’s anemic offense every bit as much as Eric (124 OPS+) has lifted Gonzo’s former team, probably has as much claim to that sixth spot.

But it’s a moot point because this particular team doesnt deserve six outfielders anyway. The clear strength of the NL is in the infield and that should be reflected, at least to some degree, in the roster composition. Four shortstops (Reyes, HRamirez, Hardy and Renteria) clearly deserve the nod more than OF’s like Gonzo, Byrnes or Adam Dunn – and that doesnt include Jimmy Rollins. If Pujols is voted in, then Prince Fielder and Adrian Gonzalez both have to be added – with Ryan Howard, DLee and Helton waiting in the wings. David Wright and Miguel Cabrera are shoo ins at third – and Utley and Uggla are the league’s best second basemen. Very good players having excellent years, like Chipper Jones, Brandon Phillips and Aramis Ramirez will be hard pressed to even make the roster. The team will need two catchers, minimum.

It’s a crowded place.

A couple of Diamondback pitchers are borderline deserving, but not the pitchers most people think. Nobody pushed harder for Webby’s Cy Young Award than Diamondhacks, but compared to this year’s cream of the crop, his 7-5 3.24 ERA, even in a hitter’s park, falls a little short.

Peavy 9-2     2.14 ERA

Penny 10-1   2.04

Sheets 9-3    3.09

CYoung 7-3   2.08

Maine  8-4    2.87

Smoltz 8-4   3.14

All these starters, in my view, should get in ahead of Brandon.  Then there’s some tougher choices:

Harang 8-2  3.59

Hamels 9-3  3.80   111Ks

Lowe  8-6  3.14  3 complete games

Hudson 7-5  3.29

Gorzelanny 7-4 3.10

Snell 6-5     2.92

…and we havent even mentioned guys like Roy Oswalt and Matt Morris, neither quite as deserving as Webb, but who further gum up a crowded field. I just dont see Brandon deserving a spot unless they take fourteen or fifteen pitchers (incl relievers).

The other AZ AS candidate on the mound is, of course, Jose Valverde, and while I think he has as good a shot as any D*Back to make the team, I dont see him as especially deserving. The 24 saves are more a function of opportunity than of performance. Of the top four NL save dudes, Senor Spud has the worst ERA (by a large margin), worst WHIP, worst K/BB ratio(with Hoffman) and highest BA against. Wagner and Isringhausen, each with half as many save opportunities as Jose, have also been far more effective in just as many innings. Any honest Diamondback fan, in their heart of hearts, knows Valverde is a lucky, volatile, overrated closer.   

Perhaps the most deserving D*Back All Stars are two guys who will never be considered -Brandon Lyon and Tony Pena.  They’re not necessarily the league’s absolute best set up guys but you could certainly politic for their inclusion based on the D*Backs record and lack of bona fide stars. Their combined 80 innings of sterling relief (ERA just over 2.00 in a homerdome) has been the wind beneath this team’s wings, quietly propping up numerous teammates for heroic opportunities late in nip and tuck ballgames. Tony Clark , Chris Young, Scotty Hairston and especially Papa Grande – indeed Diamondback fans – owe a debt of gratitude to these underappreciated, "almost" all stars. 

(photo courtesy of gargles.net)

Howdy, Crimestoppers!

It’s come to our attention that A.J. Pierzynski, abhored by fans rooting for twenty nine of baseball’s thirty teams, is LEADING the AL Final Vote!!!! 

A furious groundswell of support emanating from White Sox Nation, evidently irate about only receiving six ASG slots, fueled the unholy, late breaking development. 

BUT WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, CRIMESTOPPERS!!!

WE CAN GET OUT AND VOTE AGAINST AJ!  MILLIONS OF US(with valid email addresses) !!!

All we have to do is sign onto mlb.com (with a valid email address) and vote over and over again against the least popular journeyman in the entire sport so that he doesn’t run away with this popularity contest. Get it? If Pierzynski won this popularity contest, it wouldn’t make sense, would it? Those of us(with valid email addresses) can’t let that happen!!! Why, just the thought of it ought to make you angry enought to vote(with a valid email address). Vote(with a valid email address) in great numbers, won’t you, so at the appointed hour, MLB can announce that AJ DIDNT WIN! OK?

Wouldnt that be AWESOME?!?!

STOP A CRIME IN PROGRESS, CRIMESTOPPERS. VOTE(with a valid email address) NOW!!!!!!!!!

(text votes billed @ $0.30 per text message)

In the process of constructing Diamondhacks 2006 NL & AL All Star teams, it became clear that our teams are better than the teams that will actually represent the leagues at PNC Park. Our individual players are, generally, more deserving, in terms of season to date performance, and our teams are more balanced, productive outfits.

The reason isn’t because we’re any great shakes at this. Even our teams, selected weeks ago, could use some tweaks before gametime. It’s because unwashed fans inevitably corrupt the player evaluation process with superficiality. Statistical misapplication, strident team loyalties, some guy has a cute butt, whatever – fans consistently pick the wrong starters, which has a cascading effect compromising  subsequent roster selections.

In order to assemble the best teams and honor the right players, it’s imperative that MLB remove the vote from the fans. If fans should vote because the All Star game is "for the fans", then who are the other 162 games for? Is the entire regular season schedule "for the manager" because he selects the starters? If that’s the case, maybe we shouldnt bother patronizing ballparks from April thru October and all just play fantasy baseball instead. No, the ASG will generate great public interest whether the fans vote or not, just as before. If MLB insists on fabricating a one off frenzy for their bottom line, then keep the ballot where the fans pick the final two roster spots. Let em pick Mike Piazza and Cal Ripken for all we care.

Instead, fans now vote, up to twenty five times, online. Where else, but in Chicago, are people encouraged to vote more than once? Fan balloting has degraded from a relatively straightforward popularity contest into a marketing scheme exalting repetitive voting disorder. Why should a normal person bother to thoughtfully cast a traditional ballot when the slots are effectively reserved by Red Bull chuggin’, power scrollin’, macro-crazed zealots quadruple clicking less deserving media darlings like Derek Jeter and David Ortiz?

Diamondhacks prefers Andruw Jones’ idea of letting the players select the starters. Reserves and pitchers can be filled in the current way. According to Andruw, it’s more of an honor to be starting at PNC because your peers put you there than it would be if selected by (and these are our words, not Druw’s) hordes of ignorant, pimply, thimble fingered, loser geek fanatics continuously slamming MLB.com well past their bedtime.

Based on season to date performance, here is Diamondhacks 32-member 2006 American League All Star team. Here are our National League selections.

Let us know what you think!

AL All Star Team

Starters

C – Joe Mauer MIN

1B -Travis Hafner CLE

2B -Jose Lopez* SEA

3B – Alex Rodriguez NYY

SS – Miguel Tejada BAL

OF -Jermaine Dye CHI

OF – Nick Swisher OAK

OF – Vernon Wells TOR 

Reserves

Ramon Hernandez (C) BAL

Jim Thome CHI

Jason Giambi NYY

Robinson Cano NYY

Derek Jeter NYY

Carlos Guillen DET

Eric Chavez OAK

Albert Rios TOR

Grady Sizemore CLE

Vlad Guerrero* ANA

Gary Mathews* TEX

Mark Grudzielanek*  KC

Pitchers

Jonathan Papelbon BOS

B J Ryan TOR

Johan Santana MIN

Roy Halladay TOR

Mark Buehrle CHI

Jose Contreras CHI

Curt Schilling BOS

Kenny Rogers DET

Joe Nathan MIN

Mike Mussina NYY

Francisco Liriano MIN

Scott Kazmir* TAM

* designates club’s lone all star representative   

Closest call – probably Hafner over Giambi. Giambi’s raw numbers are slightly better, but we’re more impressed by Hafner’s performance in light of Peralta’s big early slump. And Jason doesnt get much of a bump for his defense.

2nd closest Call – Tejada over Jeter. Prevailing wisdom says Tejada has the bat and Jeter the glove but this year’s stats argue otherwise. Derek’s having a great year at the plate for a Yankee RH, but he’s dead last among AL SS’s in range factor. We’re aware that Range Factor(RF) is contingent on many variables, but A-Rods RF isn’t off the map at third and Yankee pitchers are way below the league average in strikeouts. Despite that, Derek’s still fielding almost one ball per game less than Tejada and the other leaders – that’s 150 plays a year that Jeets’ intangibles aint pickin at short – and that’s a big deal.

Biggest Individual Snubs - Any of these guys are just as deserving as Francisco Liriano: Justin Verlander, Paul Konerko, Raul Ibanez, Ichiro, Victor Martinez and Curtis Granderson.

Established All Stars Who Didnt Quite Deserve It This Year – Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Michael Young, Troy Glaus, Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera

Team Snubs – The league’s best team, Detroit, has just two reps, while Toronto and Minnesota each have four. Boston has no position players selected. Boston and Detroit are balanced squads with several quality players who narrowly lost out at their respective positions. Texas only has one rep(Gary Mathews Jr).