Diamondback Great Joy! Immaculate Franchise blessed with Flowers of Enthusiasm.

 

Timeless men say "No cheerleaders in baseball.". Ping respond.

"What? You crazy? Cheerleaders every time. Old as Susan Sarandon."

Big Welcome Rallybacks!!! Nice girls. Ping dont like sneakers as go-go boots. Our Flowers of Enthusiasm prance on dugout top. Our Flowers of Enthusiasm "hang out" at Bangkok Diamond Club. Show pretty petals in best interest of base balls.

(American girls NOT bind feet for Ping. Just dont wear sneakers, okay?)

This is Kayla.

This is Jen

This is Kristen

See you at Ping’s Ballpark, Ignorant Yankee fans and the so-called traditionalists!!!!

(photos courtesy of The Great Franchise…diamondbacks.com)

Diamondbacks history Monday held in Great Esteem!!! Five seasons of victory provide Illustrious Franchise. 18,963 Joyful Hands ring Chase Park in Circle of Success. Everyone stand up, grasp hands firmly in pride, and reverberate Team Unity! Reverence bestowed upon Franchise Fathers above community. Upon Honorable Mr Kendrick upon Honorable Mr Moorad with mass dignity.

Outside Chase Park, serene populace NOT detained. Pacific masses support interior ceremony with unison. Optimal atmosphere in complete agreement!

First things first. Diamondbacks win again!!!  You pay for ballpark, okay?  Tampa swelters as lagoon of futility. Tampa melt to spirit leader Augie Ojeda. Also Scott Hairston, very own African Assassin!

Twelve thousand swell Chase Park tomorrow and hear Yamin sing, who is a *** on wikipedia.

Three Cheers Diamondbacks!!!

Brotherhood of Team, Fatherhood of Mr Kendrick and Mr Moorad!!!!!!

Compassionate Franchise, naysayers!!! Chase Field welcomes Good World Peoples included!!!

(photo of yamin snapped by whitehouse.gov)

Let Ping tell very funny story. Ninth inning. Game is happening, la de da, when Mr Bob dispatch live dwarf to the home plate. Never happen before! It so funny! Nobody in Cal Ripken Park point because everyone (and Ping mean everyone) in on this joke.

Anyway, dwarf swing mighty with baby arms as he can. Hit ball way, way high. Ball keep going and going like cartoon show. Midget stand at home plate and peer as Babe Ruth history. It so funny!!  Watch!!

Nobody say anything and – okay! – ball bounce on the roof. Home run! Home run!

Augie Ojeda is new dwarf and he belong to Ping. We pay to see Augie try to satisfy tall, tall woman. It so funny. Just to think about. People say Augie Ojeda 5 foot eight inches tall. Hahahahahahahaha!!! No way, Jose. 5’2" tops. Ping enjoy this home run very much. Superior pleasure emanate from DVD of Augie Ojeda strike out in humiliation with Gwennyth Paltrow or Sigourny Weaver. Very tall and humorous idea for movie.

Ping put American midget in pocket like rabbit’s foot. Pull him out for home run. Then put Augie Ojeda back in pocket because he so little. It so funny that he fit in Ping’s pocket!

Ping very very proud. Our sturdy youth wow important Apple many days and bite into favored Legitimacy. Eminent Manager, Mr JoeTorre, praise Arizona of both cylinders in speech. Inestimable Honor to our players!!

One thing of silent darkness in Yankee Stadium remains serious. In success, the time is now for restitution. Colangelo Must Apologize!!!! Universal Diamondback fans have suffered your past crimes. Apologize to the classes of people for improper debt!! Do not touch earnest children atop Chris B Young’s knee with profligacy!! Vanish to countryside, Lilac Ogre, never to return!! Honor and goodness ultimately ooze from livers of Champions, Mr Jeff Moorad and Mr Ken Kendrick.

Nation of D*backs.com breathe on your decision, Colangelo!!!

**************************************************************************************

New York knowledgable? Ping say Blah Blah Blah. New York mostly loud with rats. Fans clap with two strikes. So what? New York yell at umpire when pitch foot outside. Fans mostly drunk and stupid. In Phoenix, stupid fans shut mouth or purchase ice creams, then shut mouths. Ping prefer Chase Field, where Circle of Success is viscous!! 

Best thing about New York is Broadway. Ping see Mamma Mia twice and change Ping’s life. 

Both cylinders.

(image from elainesfinesportsart.com)

First rain big in City of Rats. One hour.

Then come silly victory. Half hour.

Then come nothing. Two hour.

Three and a half Yankee hours. Always.   

Phoenix do backstroke in giant punchbowl with fearful shoulders. Not today!Livan Hernandez display courage and integrity. Four and a half hours.

First things first. Kazuo Matsui .322 against pitches of men. Need painful law against Tim Wakefield and feminine pitches. Tuesday birthday of Hideki Matsui. Ping dont give a ****.

Yankee Stadium marries Sedona Red. Yankee pinstripes. Dbacks red. No confusion. Wave of confusion at Chaseway. Red Sox fans red. Dbacks fans red. Ping dont know who to punch in seventh inning.

African assassin lose game on first play. Fearful shoulders.  Honorable Bob Melvin start Tony Clark. Why CoJack part time? CoJack hot as Sedona! Ping wish for Partly Sage, Rose Mary End Time.

Chad Tracy soar resplendent homer off imposter Chien and so called Republic of China.   

Diamondbacks perform dance of Legitimacy.

Everyone like Ping. Improper comments not allowed on this blog. 

Go Diamondbacks!

Yankees captured by Al Bello/Getty Images & Julie Jacobson/AP

First things first.

KAZUO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (similar athletic freedom photos @ kaz-matsui.com)

American Oriole no match for Contentious Geoduck Clam of Osaka Prefecture!! 

Dont forget. Kazuo Matsui grace Chaseway August 31. Everyone should have ticket, okay?

Okay.

Honorable President say Chaseway too big for correct baseball.

Yes! Empty green seats where people should sit. Ping think and think and only One Answer.

Make Chaseway small. Like stadium in Japan. Or boutique. Align number of seats with other successful baseball teams.

Like Don & Charlies.

Win win. Ping say, "Pass the Shrimp de Jonghe". Hurray Smaller Diamondbacks!!

Ping think wall is "Great". Hey, improved "atmosphere" in China for two thousand years. Wake up, America! Wall big home run.

Small is better. Asian people small. Better. Ping make blog small. Better.

Okay.

Today Red D*Backs stretch all muscles with erect anticipation in Yankee Stadium. Everyone excited in cozy baseball shrine!

Arizona everyone declare "Let’s Go Dbacks" three times for good luck!!!

Ping boo Hideki Matsui in timeless way.

Godzilla against the point. Point IS publicity wolf Hideki Matsui rob clarity and dignity of Truth from region’s Most Honorable Matsui, Kazuo. Also late congressman Bob Matsui.

Too much confusion. Mitsubishi pull same confusion with Miguel Montero here.

Not right.

Ping have GREAT time last night at Chaseway Park! Like visiting Boston without the hassles at Logan and still get to root for my D*Backs.  

Here is part of the sellout crowd in the second inning! Dont forget, Cynical Haters, true fans frequent delicious concession stands during entire game. Premier Chou En Lai Six Packs unparalleled success for Our Glorious City and Franchise of Integrity.  TOTAL SELLOUT!! Place to be, definitely.

Red Sox fans LOUD, even before game start. Cheer warm ups even! How do they know what cheer to perform without Jumbotron and in house host prompts?  Ping think fans gather secretly at Old North Church and receive detailed instructions from Red Sox Council of Enthusiasm. Then fly in and breathe fire as one – like Great Red Dragon.

Average Boston fan plumper than Ping’s whole family put together and drink like whale. Ping see four American fights after fifth inning. Better than dog fighting in China. 

Diamond Club make Ping "horny". May Ping include that sexiness term? No Asian girls but micro minis and sloppy lipstick like a Mexican Bangkok. Ping schwinnggg. Lupita say she 22. Probably fifteen. She wait outside Diamond Club with glossy lips from heaven.

Inside Chaseway red everywhere. All concession stands – Cold Stone, Pizza Hut, MacDonald, Big Dawg – all signs red. Big bathrooms total red with urinals for nice white accent. All concourse signs bright red. Employees wear red. Red Sox fans? Yes. ha ha. They red too! Chaseway a regular Beijing May Day.

Visit Chaseway most exquisite rotunda. Breathtaking photos on ceiling of Gila River Casinos. Like Sistine Chapel. Ping will go to this River to witness further cascading American beauty.

Julio Lugo perform magic Hidden Ball trick on D*Backs. Bad magic to Ping. Lugo beat up woman. Feel bad for youthful runner named Callaspo. He try hard and seem like really nice guy. Bad magic.

GO DIAMONDBACKS!!!

Hello Diamond blog.

I contain knowledge of supple tiger Kazuo Matsui for the harmonious embodiment of baseball. As seen on my brand new FLAT SCREEN!! Yes!!

Let me explain. Mr. Matt not here. He "all tied up" since the trouble. Not dead or anything, but court says Ping right and Mr Matt have no money. Oh boy, not looking good at first, but old dark judge transfer car, furniture, flat screen TV(Yes!!) and this goose that laid golden eggs – this famous MLBlog – to Ping! 

Let me explain. I am Ping.

Mr Matt scribble blog password, "callaspo" on file card with bailiff’s marker. I know he very mad two ways. One, ‘Callaspo‘ should be capitalized but he not tell me so takes Ping forever to sign in. Two, Mr Matt spit on file card. No worry. I change account to "Matsui" right away for security and just add pokey time for Mr Matt with that contempt of court of his. Aha!!

So here we are, baseball Americas!  Welcome to Ping’s MLBlog.

Like many Diamondback fans, I happily reside in Arizona and am of great knowledge in the DBack game. Ping’s baseball words will bloom erectly on August 31, when Kazuo Matsui honors our warm valley with his presence.

Before then, Ping watch Red Sox tonight. Not on new flat screen teleevision. Oh no!!

PING GOING TO DA GAME,****** !!!

Ping have camera. Surprised? No K-Maz tonight, but lots of pictures. Okajima? Matsuzaka? Ping will try to photo every player I can except Curt Schilling. What kind of man enjoy WWII ?  Ping try hard to forget WWII. Others may photograph Curt Schilling as he poses. Ping save battery.

I am gracious to start a new life here and be intimate with the family.   

Yours,

P’ing

These hot hot images of Kazuo Matsui are not my camera. They are sports.nifty.com/kaz-matsui/